women

Motherhood has powerfully reinforced for me the significance of the fact that when God was most vulnerable – in the womb, nursing at the breast, as a child, at death – God was wholly entrusted to the care of women. I find that frighteningly profound. — Rachel Held Evans

We are born of love. Love is our mother. – Rumi

Songs about and for Mothers:

• Mama Said by Shirelles (rock)
• What’s Going On by Marvin Gaye (rock)
• Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran (pop)
• Love Like This by Lauren Daigle (Christian pop)
• Mama’s Song by Carrie Underwood (country)
• Dear Mama by Tupac Shakur (rap ballad)
• Song for Mama by Boyz 2 Men (pop)
• Like My Mother Does by Lauren Alaina (country)
• Mom by Garth Brooks (country)
• Thank You by Good Charlotte (pop ballad)
• Mother Like Mine by The Band Perry (country)
• Mama Liked the Roses by Elvis Presley (rock ballad)
• When We Fall Apart by Ryan Stevenson with Vince Gill & Amy Grant (country)

Songs by, about, and for Women:

• Girl on Fire by Alicia Keyes (pop): https://youtu.be/J91ti_MpdHA
• You Say by Lauren Daigle (Christian): https://youtu.be/sIaT8Jl2zpI
• Run the World by Beyonce (pop/rap/R&B): https://youtu.be/VBmMU_iwe6U
• This One’s for the Girls by Martina McBride (pop): https://youtu.be/oTowId2CWHA
• Woman by Kesha (country): https://youtu.be/lXyA4MXKIKo
• Ladies First by Queen Latifah (rap): https://youtu.be/8Qimg_q7LbQ
• Can’t Hold Us Down by Christina Aguilera (hiphop/pop): https://youtu.be/dg8QgUIKXHw
• You Know My Name by Tasha Cobbs Leonard (Christian): https://youtu.be/t7owFiihXgg
• Roar by Katy Perry (pop): https://youtu.be/CevxZvSJLk8
• I’m Coming Out by Diana Ross (R&B): https://youtu.be/F-mjl63e0ms
• Respect by Aretha Franklin (R&B): https://youtu.be/6FOUqQt3Kg0
• Stronger by Kel.ly Clarkson (country/pop): https://youtu.be/Xn676-fLq7I
• Just a Girl by No Doubt (indie/pop): https://youtu.be/PHzOOQfhPFg
• Born This Way by Lady Gaga (rock/pop): https://youtu.be/wV1FrqwZyKw
• Ain’t Your Mama by Jennifer Lopez (pop): https://youtu.be/Pgmx7z49OEk
• Fight Song by Rachel Platten (pop): https://youtu.be/xo1VInw-SKc
• Confident by Demi Lovato (pop): https://youtu.be/cwLRQn61oUY
• Independent Woen Pt 1 by Destiny’s Child (pop): https://youtu.be/0lPQZni7I18
• I’m Every Woman by Whitney Houston (pop): https://youtu.be/H7_sqdkaAfo

Blessing the Mothers — Jan Richardson

Blessing the Mothers
Who are our
first sanctuary.

Who fashion
a space of blessing
with their own being:

with the belly
the bone and
the blood

or,
if not with these,
then with the
durable heart
that offers itself
to break
and grow wide,
to gather itself
around another
as refuge,
as home.

Who lean into
the wonder and terror
of loving what
they can hold
but cannot contain.

Who remain
in some part of themselves
always awake,
a corner of consciousness
keeping perpetual vigil.

Who know
that the story
is what endures
is what binds us
is what runs deeper
even than blood

and so they spin them
in celebration
of what abides
and benediction
on what remains:

a simple gladness
that latches onto us
and graces us
on our way.

A Litany of Women for the Church — Joan Chittister Dear God, creator of women in your own image, born of a woman in the midst of a world half women, carried by women to … fields around the globe, made known by women to all the children of the earth, give to the women of our time the strength to persevere, the courage to speak out, the faith to believe in you beyond all systems and institutions so that your face on earth may be seen in all its beauty, so that men and women become whole … We call on the holy women who went before us, channels of Your Word in testaments old and new, to intercede for us so that we might be given the grace to become what they have been for … God. … Saint Esther, who pleaded against power for the liberation of the people, –Pray for us. Saint Judith, who routed the plans of men and saved the community, Saint Deborah, laywoman and judge, who led the people of God, Saint Elizabeth of Judea, who recognized the value of another woman, Saint Mary Magdalene, minister of Jesus, the first evangelist of the Christ, Saint Scholastica, who taught her brother Benedict to honor the spirit above the system, Saint Hildegard, who suffered interdict for the doing of right, Saint Joan of Arc, who put no law above the law of God, Saint Clare of Assisi, who confronted the pope with the image of woman as equal, Saint Julian of Norwich, who proclaimed for all of us the motherhood of God, Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, who knew the call to priesthood in herself, Saint Catherine of Siena, to whom the pope listened, Saint Teresa of Avila, who brought women’s gifts to the reform of the church, Saint Edith Stein, who brought fearlessness to faith, Saint Elizabeth Seton, who broke down boundaries between lay women and religious by wedding motherhood and religious life, Saint Dorothy Day, who led the church in a new sense of justice, Mary, mother of Jesus, who heard the call of God and answered, Mary, mother of Jesus, who drew strength from the woman Elizabeth, Mary, mother of Jesus, who underwent hardship bearing Christ, Mary, mother of Jesus, who ministered at Cana, Mary, mother of Jesus, inspirited at Pentecost, Mary mother of Jesus, who turned the Spirit of God into the body and blood of Christ, pray for us. Amen. Prayer for those getting through mother’s day  — Maren Tirabassi Spirit of gentleness, wrap all your holy loving non-binary compassion  around all of those  just hoping to get through a holiday  that washes them in tears – because their mothers are dead or their children are dead, because they wanted children but did not have them, or their children don’t want them right now in their lives, or their parents don’t love a gender identity so dearly chosen, because their childhood family or their present one is marked by abuse, because there is great distance of miles or minds of border wall or prison wall between them and someone they love, because of a miscarriage, a failed search for a biological parent, a lonely foster care bedroom, a desperate attempt to be a perfect stepparent or no attempt made at all,  or just because this holiday holds up a magnifying glass to the heart.

On this Mother’s Day, I celebrate and give thanks for my own mother … and all the mothers who have been able to provide this tremendous gift. And I offer prayers for those women who, owing to the gaps and fissures in their own landscape, have left pain and emptiness in the space where a mother should have been. For those who choose to enter into the empty, motherless places—the “othermothers” who come in the form of teachers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters, neighbors, friends—bless you and thank you for your mothering hearts. For all the mothers—mothers by blood, mothers by heart—a blessing to you on this Mother’s Day. — Jan Richardson

Essay about Mother’s Day — Anne Lamott
I did not raise my son, Sam, to celebrate Mother’s Day. … Mother’s Day celebrates a huge lie about the value of women: that mothers are superior beings, that they have done more with their lives and chosen a more difficult path. Ha! Every woman’s path is difficult, and many mothers were as equipped to raise children as wire monkey mothers. I say that without judgment: It is, sadly, true. An unhealthy mother’s love is withering.
      The illusion is that mothers are automatically happier, more fulfilled and complete. But the craziest, grimmest people this Sunday will be the mothers themselves, stuck herding their own mothers and weeping children and husbands’ mothers into seats at restaurants. These mothers do not want a box of chocolate. These mothers are on a diet.
      …. the holiday makes all non-mothers, and the daughters of dead mothers, and the mothers of dead or severely damaged children, feel the deepest kind of grief and failure. The non-mothers must sit in their churches, temples, mosques, recovery rooms and pretend to feel good about the day while they are excluded from a holiday that benefits no one but Hallmark and See’s. There is no refuge — not at the horse races, movies, malls, museums. … You could always hide in a nice seedy bar, I suppose. Or an ER.
      … Don’t get me wrong: There were times I could have literally died of love for my son, and I’ve felt stoned on his rich, desperate love for me. But I bristle at the whispered lie that you can know this level of love and self-sacrifice only if you are a parent. …
      But my main gripe about Mother’s Day is that it feels incomplete and imprecise. The main thing that ever helped mothers was other people mothering them; a chain of mothering that keeps the whole shebang afloat. I am the woman I grew to be partly in spite of my mother, and partly because of the extraordinary love of her best friends, and my own best friends’ mothers, and from surrogates, many of whom were not women at all …
      No one is more sentimentalized in America than mothers on Mother’s Day, but no one is more often blamed for the culture’s bad people and behavior. You want to give me chocolate and flowers? Great. I love them both. I just don’t want them out of guilt, and I don’t want them if you’re not going to give them to all the people who helped mother our children. But if you are going to include everyone, then make mine something like M&M’s, and maybe flowers you picked yourself, even from my own garden, the cut stems wrapped in wet paper towels, then tin foil and a waxed-paper bag from my kitchen drawers. I don’t want something special. I want something beautifully plain. Like everything else, it can fill me only if it is ordinary and available to all.

Flare (excerpt) — Mary Oliver
5.

My mother
was the blue wisteria,
my mother
was the mossy stream out behind the house,
my mother, alas, alas,
did not always love her life,
heavier than iron it was
as she carried it in her arms, from room to room,
oh, unforgettable!

I bury her
in a box
in the earth
and turn away.

My father
was a demon of frustrated dreams,
was a breaker of trust,
was a poor, thin boy with bad luck.
He followed God, there being no one else
he could talk to;
he swaggered before God, there being no one else
who would listen.

Listen,
this was his life.
I bury it in the earth.
I sweep the closets.
I leave the house.

6.

I mention them now,
I will not mention them again.

It is not lack of love
nor lack of sorrow.
But the iron thing they carried, I will not carry.

I give them–one, two, three, four–the kiss of courtesy,
    of sweet thanks,
of anger, of good luck in the deep earth.
May they sleep well. May they soften.

But I will not give them the kiss of complicity.
I will not give them the responsibility for my life.

There was something so valuable about what happened when one became a mother. For me it was the most liberating thing that ever happened to me. . . . Liberating because the demands that children make are not the demands of a normal ‘other.’ The children’s demands on me were things that nobody ever asked me to do. To be a good manager. To have a sense of humor. To deliver something that somebody could use. And they were not interested in all the things that other people were interested in, like what I was wearing or if I were sensual. . . . Somehow all of the baggage that I had accumulated as a person about what was valuable just fell away. I could not only be me — whatever that was — but somebody actually needed me to be that. . . . If you listen to [your children], somehow you are able to free yourself from baggage and vanity and all sorts of things, and deliver a better self, one that you like. The person that was in me that I liked best was the one my children seemed to want. — Toni Morrison

[T]he point is that freedom is choosing your responsibility. . . . A lady doctor has to be able to say, “I want to go home.” And the one at home has the right to say, “I want to go to medical school.” That’s all there is to that, but then the choices cause problems where there are no problems because “either/or” seems to set up the conflict, first in language and then in life. . . . I tried hard to be both the ship and the safe harbor at the same time, to be able to make a house and be on the job market and still nurture the children. . . . No one should be asked to make a choice between a home or a career. Why not have both? It’s all possible.
    Black women [need to] pay . . . attention to the ancient properties — which for me means the ability to be “the ship” and the “safe harbor.” Our history as Black women is the history of women who could build a house and have some children and there was no problem. . . . What we have known is how to be complete human beings, so that we did not let education keep us from our nurturing abilities. . . [T]o lose that is to diminish ourselves unnecessarily. It is not a question, it’s not a conflict. You don’t have to give up anything. You choose your responsibilities.— Toni Morrison