Reflections on the common table: who has a seat?
If the home is a body, the table is the heart, the beating center, the sustainer of life and health.― Shauna Niequist
If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu. — Michael Enzi
I feign fullness, but in reality I am achingly empty. And it is because I too often sit at the table of the world instead of the feet of God. ― Craig D. Lounsbrough
SONGS about SHARING FOOD & ENJOYING LIFE:
- Common Table by Reuben Hollebon (folk rock): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1w4pP_JmLSo
- Hands, Hands, Hands mealtime prayer song by Sacred Heart Montessori (Christian): https://youtu.be/ah_sAtYBZQA
- Thank God I’m a Country Boy by John Denver (country): https://youtu.be/QRuCPS_-_IA
- Bread and Butter by Newbeats (rock): https://youtu.be/S_Jzl_bx3fI
- Meanwhile Back at Mama’s ft Faith Hill & Tim McGraw (country): https://youtu.be/or-Lam5tPHc
- Feeling Good by Nina Simone (rock/blues): https://youtu.be/oHRNrgDIJfo
- Sugar, Sugar by the Archies (pop): https://youtu.be/h9nE2spOw_o
- Try Everything by Shakira (from Zootopia / pop): https://youtu.be/Bd2mU_BmVrs
- Where You Are from Disney’s Moana (musical): https://youtu.be/RTWhvp_OD6s
- Fast Food Folk Song by Rhett & Link (comic folk): https://youtu.be/-uwY3sjqYX0
- Too Much Food by Jason Mraz (rock): https://youtu.be/NN1S3OvYnPo
- Eat It by Weird Al Yankovic (rock comedy cover of Michael Jackson’s Beat It): https://youtu.be/E8Nv5hWd-Js
- Carry Out by Timbaland (ft Justin Timberlake) (rap): https://youtu.be/NRdHsuuXxfk
- Chicken Fried by Zac Brown Band (country): https://youtu.be/e4ujS1er1r0
- Thank You Lord for Your Blessings by Bill & Gloria Gaither (Christian/country): https://youtu.be/R9gEo0_Abc4
- Peanut Butter Jelly Time by Buckwheat Boyz (rap): https://youtu.be/eRBOgtp0Hac
- Coca Cola’s Great Meal (commercial ad/pop COVID anthem): https://youtu.be/vUMQeNw2QDA
- Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw (country): https://youtu.be/awzNHuGqoMc
The Thanksgivings — Harriet Maxwell Converse
We who are here present thank the Great Spirit that we are here
to praise Him. We thank Him that He has created men and women, and ordered
that these beings shall always be living to multiply the earth.
We thank Him for making the earth and giving these beings its products
to live on. We thank Him for the water that comes out of the earth and runs
for our lands. We thank Him for all the animals on the earth.
We thank Him for certain timbers that grow and have fluids coming
from them for us all. We thank Him for the branches of the trees that grow shadows
for our shelter. We thank Him for the beings that come from the west, the thunder
and lightning that water the earth.
We thank Him for the light which we call our oldest brother, the sun
that works for our good. We thank Him for all the fruits that grow on the trees and vines.
We thank Him for his goodness in making the forests, and thank
all its trees. We thank Him for the darkness that gives us rest, and for the kind Being
of the darkness that gives us light, the moon.
We thank Him for the bright spots in the skies that give us signs,
the stars. We give Him thanks for our supporters,
who had charge of our harvests.
We give thanks that the voice of the Great Spirit can still be heard
through the words of Ga-ne-o-di-o.
We thank the Great Spirit that we have the privilege of this pleasant
occasion. We give thanks for the persons who can sing the Great Spirit’s music,
and hope they will be privileged to continue in his faith.
We thank the Great Spirit for all the persons who perform the ceremonies
on this occasion.
Table Blessing — Jan Richardson
To your table
you bid us come.
You have set the places,
you have poured the wine,
and there is always room,
you say,
for one more.And so we come.
From the streets
and from the alleys
we come.From the deserts
and from the hills
we come.From the ravages of poverty
and from the palaces of privilege
we come.Running,
limping,
carried,
we come.We are bloodied with our wars,
we are wearied with our wounds,
we carry our dead within us,
and we reckon with their ghosts.We hold the seeds of healing,
we dream of a new creation,
we know the things
that make for peace,
and we struggle to give them wings.And yet, to your table
we come.
Hungering for your bread,
we come;
thirsting for your wine,
we come;
singing your song
in every language,
speaking your name
in every tongue,
in conflict and in communion,
in discord and in desire,
we come,
O God of Wisdom,
we come
SHARED MEAL: Commentary
Food feeds our souls. It is the single great unifier across all cultures. The table offers a sanctuary and a place to come together for unity and understanding. — Lidia Bastianich
The heart is cooking a pot of food for you. Be patient until it is cooked. — Rumi
The table is a meeting place, a gathering ground, the source of sustenance and nourishment, festivity, safety, and satisfaction. A person cooking is a person giving: Even the simplest food is a gift. — Laurie Colwin
There are times when wisdom cannot be found in the chambers of parliament or the halls of academia but at the unpretentious setting of the kitchen table. ― E.A. Bucchianeri
It’s around the table and in the preparation of food that we learn about ourselves and about the world. —Alice Waters
They all know the truth, that there are only three subjects worth talking about. At least here in these parts,” he says, “The weather, which, as they’re farmers, affects everything else. Dying and birthing, of both people and animals. And what we eat – this last item comprising what we ate the day before and what we’re planning to eat tomorrow. And all three of these major subjects encompass, in one way or another, philosophy, psychology, sociology, anthropology, the physical sciences, history, art, literature, and religion. We get around to sparring about all that counts in life but we usually do it while we’re talking about food, it being a subject inseparable from every other subject. It’s the table and the bed that count in life. And everything else we do, we do so we can get back to the table, back to the bed. ― Marlena De Blasi
Meals are significant because you are in close quarters with someone. Your hands are reaching into the same dishes. It is a clear act of welcoming, accepting, and befriending. It was the precise thing that you did not do with the social pariahs. It was the precise thing that the social outcast wanted: community. — Dave Dunham
You’ve spent the whole of your life filling your plate with the scraps that life has thrown your way. And even so, you feel horribly undeserving of these. But please understand that there is a glorious table generously spread with everything that you will ever need. And you might think about the fact that God sits at that very table staring at an empty chair that has your name on it. So, maybe you should step up and RSVP the God who is desperate to see you in that chair. ― Craig D. Lounsbrough
A SEAT at the TABLE: Including Stakeholders
I am not interested in picking up crumbs of compassion thrown from the table of someone who considers himself my master. I want the full menu of rights. — Desmond Tutu
To share a table with someone is to share everything. ― Paul Krueger
A good life does not mean just good food, good clothes, good shelter. These are not sufficient. A good motivation is what is needed—compassion, without dogmatism, without complicated philosophy—just understanding that others are human brothers and sisters and respecting their rights and human dignity. — Dalai Lama
No matter what message you are about to deliver somewhere, whether it is holding out a hand of friendship, or making clear that you disapprove of something, is the fact that the person sitting across the table is a human being, so the goal is to always establish common ground. — Madeleine Albright
All of your stakeholders have to have the right seat at the table, and they all have to be successful. It’s hard to do, but you have to keep your eye on developing a meaningful relationship where it is beneficial for them. Then you work backwards from there. —Brian France
If I am more fortunate than others I need to build a longer table not a taller fence. —Tamlyn Tomita
We don’t come to the table to fight or to defend. We don’t come to prove or to conquer, to draw lines in the sand or to stir up trouble. We come to the table because our hunger brings us there. We come with a need, with fragility, with an admission of our humanity. The table is the great equalizer, the level playing field many of us have been looking everywhere for. The table is the place where the doing stops, the trying stops, the masks are removed, and we allow ourselves to be nourished, like children. We allow someone else to meet our need. In a world that prides people on not having needs, on going longer and faster, on going without, on powering through, the table is a place of safety and rest and humanity, where we are allowed to be as fragile as we feel. ― Shauna Niequist
It is not necessary that you leave the house. Remain at your table and listen. Do not even listen, only wait. Do not even wait, be wholly still and alone. The world will present itself to you for its unmasking, it can do no other, in ecstasy it will writhe at your feet. — Franz Kafka
The best thing we can do for the poor is offer them a place of welcome and community. Our first priority in social involvement is to be the church, a community of welcome to, and inclusion of, the marginalized. This needs to go deeper than a warm handshake at the door. People are often unaware of how much the culture of their church is shaped by their social class. Someone at the door of a church, for example, may hand a newcomer a hymnbook, Bible, service guide, and bulletin with a smile and greeting without realizing how intimidating these can be to someone from a nonliterate culture. The social activities to which the poor are invited, the decision-making processes of the church, the unwritten dress codes, the style of teaching can all be alien to the marginalized. As a result, however warm the welcome, the poor can feel marginalized within the church just as they are outside. (Total Church, 81-82) — Tim Chester and Steve Timmis
Reflections on the ‘log & speck’ or ‘beam & mote’ – judging & non-judging. Themes from Matthew 7 out of the Sermon on the Mount. Humor through images.
Contain all human faces in your own without any judgment of them — Rumi
It is much more difficult to judge yourself than it is to judge others. — Antoine de Saint-Exupery
What is love? Love is the absence of judgment. — Dalai Lama
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly as he or she is. — Fred Rogers
There is no value-judgment more important to a man no factor more decisive in his psychological development and motivation than the estimate he passes on himself. — Nathaniel Branden
There are no truer choices than those made in crisis, choices made without judgment. — Daniel Wilson
The organ of perception acts more readily than judgment. — Leonardo Da Vinci
Well, pray if you like, only you’d do better to use your judgment. — Leo Tolstoy
If you want to help somebody, make sure you’re coming from a place of clarity and complete non-judgment; that way, you can begin to understand their journey, too. — Mary Lambert
Without compassion, we will never know anyone or anything, not even our own story. Too much judgment, too many ideas and attitudes will stand in the way of the fundamental principle that we are similar to, connected with, and part of everything else. — Deena Metzger
SONGS about Judging & Not-Judging:
- I Am Already Enough and Only Love and Fix You by Fearless Soul (pop/contemplative)
- Judgment by TryHardNinja
- Try Everything by Shakira from Zootopia (pop anthem)
- Something Inside So Strong featuring Annatoria & Che Kirah (anthem)
- Beautifully Broken by Plumb (Christian)
- Love’s In Need of Love Today by Stevie Wonder (pop)
- You Know My Name (cover) by The Jones Family (Christian)
- Stand Up for Something by Andra Day featuring Common (rap/pop)
- Return to Love by Andrea Bocelli & Ellie Goulding (opera/pop)
- Hear My Voice by Celeste (pop)
- Start Over by Flame featuring NF (Christian rap/pop)
- All That You Have Is Your Soul by Tracy Chapman (pop)
- I Am and I Am Light by Indie.Arie with Beautiful Chorus (contemplative chant/pop)
- Resilient by Rising Appalachia (folk/country)
- Judgment Day by Craig Mack (rap, includes explicit lyrics)
- Humble and Kind by Tim McGraw (country)
- Oh My Soul by Rebekah Dawn & Mary Maroni (Christian)
- Now I’m Blind by Loner Deer (acoustic vocal pop)
- I Am Not Alone (Psalm 23) featuring Josh Sherman (Christian)
- Amazing Grace by The Acapella Company (Christian)
- I’m Standing with You by Chrissy Metz (Christian)
- Judgment Day by White Snake (rock)
- Save Yourself by KALEO (pop)
- Burden by Foy Vance (Christian)
And light is mingled with the gloom,
And joy with grief;
Divinest compensations come,
Through thorns of judgment mercies bloom In sweet relief.
— John Greenleaf Whittier
PRAYER
God of all races, nations, and religions,
You know that we cannot change others,
Nor can we change the past.
But we can change ourselves.
We can join You in changing our only
And common future where Love “reigns”
The same over all.
Help us not to say, “Lord, Lord” to any nationalist gods,
But to hear the One God of all the earth,
And to do God’s good thing for this One World.
— Fr Richard Rohr
WHAT’S IN YOUR EYE?
As I pondered these verses, so many questions came to my mind.
- Why is it we can see the faults of others, but we can’t see our own faults?
- Who is supposed to tell me what my logs are – my kids, my husband, my parents, You God?
- And how is that done? Is there an appropriate way to show me my faults?
- Is there an appropriate way to show others their faults?
- How should I prepare myself to hear bad news about myself?
- Why do I feel the need to judge others for their faults?
- Where does humility come into play here?
- What if I perceive another person is in danger? Is it alright to tell them what their speck is?
- What if they have a “log” in their eye? Why doesn’t the Bible talk about getting a log out of other people’s lives – only specks?
- How do I get the log out of my own eye?
- Am I a hypocrite?
- Have I ever really prayed for God to show me my log?
- Do I really want to hear what He might say?
- Why does Jesus say speck and log versus specks and logs?
As you can see, these 5 verses brought a lot more questions to my mind than there are verses. And if I thought beyond the few minutes it took to come up with these questions, I could probably double the amount of questions that came quickly to the top of my head. — Patti Greene (full text: https://greenepastures.org/the-speck-and-the-log-matthew-71-5/)
… there’s all this stuff about the final judgment. You know what the final judgment is to me? It’s God dying on the cross and saying: forgive them; they know not what they’re doing. That’s an eternally valid statement to me. That is God’s judgment upon us. And so, to me, if God could bear that kind of suffering and only respond in forgiveness and love, that’s the God who is present in a devastating hurricane, in that room with an abused child. So to me, God has come into the world and is bearing that, not causing it. — Nadia Bolz-Weber
God’s freely given grace is a humiliation to the ego because free gifts say nothing about me. Only the soul can understand grace. The ego does not know how to receive things freely or without logic. It likes to be worthy and needs to understand in order to accept things as true. The ego prefers a worldview of scarcity or quid pro quo, where only the clever can win. That problem, and its overcoming, is at the very center of the Gospel plot line. It has always been overcome from God’s side. The only problem is getting us in on the process! That very inclusion of us is God’s humility, graciousness, and love. Only inside an economy of grace can we see that God wants free and willing partners. An economy of merit cannot process free love or free anything. “Not servants, but friends” (John 15:15) is God’s plan. Yet to this day, most Christians seem to prefer being servants. Divine friendship is just too much to imagine. — Fr. Richard Rohr (full article: https://cac.org/mercy-before-judgment-2016-01-24/)
Through Jesus Christ, God’s own broad, deep, and all-inclusive worldview is made available to us. In fact, I’d go so far as to say that the point of the Christian life is not to distinguish oneself from the other world religions, but to stand in radical solidarity with everyone and everything else. This is the full, final, and intended effect of the Incarnation—symbolized by the cross, which is God’s great act of solidarity instead of judgment. This is how we are to imitate Jesus, the good Jewish man who saw and called forth the divine in Gentiles like the Syro-Phoenician woman and the Roman centurions who followed him; in Jewish tax collectors who collaborated with the Empire; in zealots who opposed it; in sinners of all stripes; in eunuchs, pagan astrologers, and all those “outside the law.” Jesus had no trouble whatsoever with otherness. If we are ready to reclaim the true meaning of “catholic,” which is “universal,” we must concentrate on including—as Jesus clearly did—instead of excluding—which he never did. The only thing Jesus excluded was exclusion itself… — Fr Richard Rohr (full article: https://cac.org/solidarity-instead-of-judgment-2020-09-20/)
JUDGMENT & NON-JUDGMENT
Be curious, not judgmental. — Walt Whitman
“How much wrong we do to God and his grace when we speak of sins being punished by his judgment before we speak of their being forgiven by his mercy. We have to put mercy before judgment, and in any event, God’s judgment will always be in the light of his mercy”—which is infinite! — Pope Francis
Each of us is more than the worst thing we’ve ever done. ― Bryan Stevenson
Placing the blame or judgment on someone else leaves you powerless to change your experience; taking responsibility for your beliefs and judgments gives you the power to change them — Byron Katie
Such as every man is inwardly so he judgeth outwardly. — Thomas A Kempis
In its highest form, not judging is the ultimate act of forgiveness. ― John Kuypers
To celebrate someone else’s life, we need to find a way to look at it straight on, not from above with judgment or from below with envy. ― Sharon Salzberg
No one can occupy your generosity except you. Who can occupy your patience when impatience roars through you? Who except you can choose not to act with judgment when all of your thoughts are judgmental? Your life is yours to live, no matter how you choose to live it. When you do not think about how you intend to live it, it lives you. — Gary Zukav
The more you look into and understand yourself, the less judgmental you become of others. — Tariq Ramadan
But over time people break apart, no matter how enormous the love they feel for one another is, and it is through the breaking and the reconciliation, the love and the doubting of love, the judgment and then the coming together again, that we find our own identity and define our relationships.— Ann Patchett
Just as the sun shines on every soul, let your light of compassion shine on everyone irrespective of who they are and what they believe. ― Michael Bassey Johnson
Imagine learning at such a young age that your very appearance – your very identity – is enough to trigger such confusion and animosity. Imagine knowing that people will hate you for no reason other than you are who you are. —Thomas Beatie
Of course we need to accept ourselves as we are, but we can’t stop there. We also need to value ourselves enough make needed changes. ― Steve Goodier
f your knowledge teaches you not to rise above human weakness and misery and lead your fellow man on the right path, you are indeed a man of little worth and will remain such till Judgment Day. — Khalil Gibran
Mindfulness means moment-to-moment, non-judgmental awareness. It is cultivated by refining our capacity to pay attention, intentionally, in the present moment, and then sustaining that attention over time as best we can. In the process, we become more in touch with our life as it is unfolding. — Jon Kabat-Zinn
Yes, I have my standpoint, but I try to follow the life of Christ and he was very non-judgmental. It’s not my position to judge. It’s God’s position to judge. — Donny Osmond
Recognizing our own mistakes helps us to empathize non-judgmentally with others and helps enable us to understand their issues. — Jay Woodman
I want to get comfortable with my insecurities until I am no longer insecure. I want to be comfortable in my skin so that I do not need to dump any of my discomfort onto someone else in the form of judgment. — Damien Rice
We experience it as kindness, giving, mercy, compassion, peace, joy, acceptance, non-judgment, joining, and intimacy. — Marianne Williamson
Invest in the human soul. Who knows, it might be a diamond in the rough. — Mary McLeod Bethune
When you force a man to act against his own choice and judgment, it’s his thinking that you want him to suspend. You want him to become a robot.— Ayn Rand
I am humanly unable to correct my negative self-image until I encounter a life-changing experience with non-judgmental love bestowed upon me by a Person whom I admire so much that to be unconditionally accepted by Him is to be born again. — Robert Schuller