atonement

Yom Kippur 2023 began on the evening of Sun, Sept 24 and ends on the evening of Mon, Sept 25.

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Yom Kippur is the holiest day of the year, when we are closest to G‑d and to the essence of our souls. Yom Kippur means “Day of Atonement,” as the verse states, “For on this day He will forgive you, to purify you, that you be cleansed from all your sins before  G-d.” — chabad.org

May our time … today enable each of us to order our souls and release what needs releasing, to savor the journey we are on singly and together, to delve deep into the layers of who we are and who we have been and who we hope to become, and to trust, and embrace, the changes which are coming. — Rabbi Rachel Barenbat

Our lives are finite, but when we try to do right by each other and by our world we align ourselves with the flow of spirit and love. And our tradition teaches: that flow of spirit and love is eternal. More eternal even than plastic. When we transmit memory to the generations that will follow, we become part of something that is forever. And when we commit to deeds of justice and righteousness in memory of those who are gone, we uplift the best of who we can be. — Rabbi Rachel Barenbat

KOL NIDREI:

• Kol Nidre performed by Mischa Maisky, Paavo Järvi with Frankfurt Radio Suymphony: https://youtu.be/XGzOozXt4ek

ASHMANU (confession as part of Viddui prayer on Yom Kippur):

• Ashmante audio by Hadar Institute:
  https://soundcloud.com/myjewishlearning/ashamnu?utm_source=clipboard&utm_campaign=wtshare&utm_medium=widget&utm_content=https%253A%252F%252Fsoundcloud.com%252Fmyjewishlearning%252Fashamnu

SONGS about FORGIVENESS & LETTING GO:

• Purple Rain by Prince (pop): https://youtu.be/TvnYmWpD_T8
• Live Like a Warrior by Matsiyahu (Jewish rap): https://youtu.be/p53pDNodxHE
• Forgiveness by TobyMac (pop/rap/Christian): https://youtu.be/xfkhqpl81NA
• Hello by Adele (pop): https://youtu.be/YQHsXMglC9A
• I Forgive You by Kelly Pickler (country): https://youtu.be/rFC20P25mZ4
• Forgive Myself by Sam Smith (pop): https://youtu.be/50d_eeEg_AQ
• Cleanin’ Out My Closet by Eminem (rap): https://youtu.be/RQ9_TKayu9s
• All Apologies by Nirvana (rock): https://youtu.be/aWmkuH1k7uA
• Sweet Forgiveness by Bonnie Raitt (country): https://youtu.be/mq2RbR-eXVE
• Baby Can I Hold You Tonight by Tracy Chapman (pop): https://youtu.be/kjRo_CHSdt0
• Back to December by Taylor Swift (pop): https://youtu.be/QUwxKWT6m7U
• Less Than Whole by Eric Paslay (country/Christian): https://youtu.be/aTqEzo0GZJU
• Forgiveness by India Arie (pop): https://youtu.be/qxMLZjqZ8wE
• I Forgive You by Kelly Clarkson (pop): https://youtu.be/wT_VvanbpqE
• Pray for Forgiveness by Alicia Keyes (pop): https://youtu.be/IvdYcpGw9Oo
• Last Time I Say Sorry by John Legend, Kane Brown (pop): https://youtu.be/j9Nl7o5WEFg
• Low Man’s Lyric by Metallixa (rock): https://youtu.be/If1vafTxHjw
• Please Forgive Me by Bryan Adams (pop): https://youtu.be/7x8wPt8xarE
• If I Could Turn Back Time by Cher (pop): https://youtu.be/9n3A_-HRFfc
• Losing by Tenth Avenue North (Christian): https://youtu.be/hHcVTbyJqis
• Forgiveness by Matthew West (Christian): https://youtu.be/h1Lu5udXEZI
• The Apology Song by The Decemberists (pop): https://youtu.be/ZctK51RwK8A
• Forgiven by Crowder (Christian): https://youtu.be/u_ZWEO36jok
• Sorry by Justin Bieber (pop): https://youtu.be/fRh_vgS2dFE
• Start Somewhere by TobyMac (pop): https://youtu.be/7rT7Zci7LQQ
• A Song for You by Amy Winehouse (jazz/blues): https://youtu.be/zWR82j1hAO4

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Yom Kippur 1984 — Adrienne Rich

I drew solitude over me, on the long shore. —Robinson Jeffers, “Prelude”  

For whoever does not afflict his soul through this day, shall be
cut off from his people.  —Leviticus 23:29

What is a Jew in solitude?

What would it mean not to feel lonely or afraid

far from your own or those you have called your own?

What is a woman in solitude:   a queer woman or man?

In the empty street, on the empty beach, in the desert

what in this world as it is can solitude mean?

 

The glassy, concrete octagon suspended from the cliffs

with its electric gate, its perfected privacy

is not what I mean

the pick-up with a gun parked at a turn-out in Utah or the Golan Heights

is not what I mean

the poet’s tower facing the western ocean, acres of forest planted to the east, the woman reading in the cabin, her attack dog suddenly risen

is not what I mean

 

Three thousand miles from what I once called home

I open a book searching for some lines I remember

about flowers, something to bind me to this coast as lilacs in the dooryard once

bound me back there—yes, lupines on a burnt mountainside,

something that bloomed and faded and was written down

in the poet’s book, forever:

Opening the poet’s book

I find the hatred in the poet’s heart: . . . the hateful-eyed

and human-bodied are all about me: you that love multitude may have them

 

Robinson Jeffers, multitude

is the blur flung by distinct forms against these landward valleys

and the farms that run down to the sea; the lupines

are multitude, and the torched poppies, the grey Pacific unrolling its scrolls of surf,

and the separate persons, stooped

over sewing machines in denim dust, bent under the shattering skies of harvest

who sleep by shifts in never-empty beds have their various dreams

Hands that pick, pack, steam, stitch, strip, stuff, shell, scrape, scour, belong to a brain like no other

Must I argue the love of multitude in the blur or defend

a solitude of barbed-wire and searchlights, the survivalist’s final solution, have I a choice?

 

To wander far from your own or those you have called your own

to hear strangeness calling you from far away

and walk in that direction, long and far, not calculating risk

to go to meet the Stranger without fear or weapon, protection nowhere on your mind

(the Jew on the icy, rutted road on Christmas Eve prays for another Jew

the woman in the ungainly twisting shadows of the street:   Make those be a woman’s footsteps; as if she could believe in a woman’s god)

 

Find someone like yourself.   Find others.

Agree you will never desert each other.

Understand that any rift among you

means power to those who want to do you in.

Close to the center, safety; toward the edges, danger.

But I have a nightmare to tell:   I am trying to say

that to be with my people is my dearest wish

but that I also love strangers

that I crave separateness

I hear myself stuttering these words

to my worst friends and my best enemies

who watch for my mistakes in grammar

my mistakes in love.

This is the day of atonement; but do my people forgive me?

If a cloud knew loneliness and fear, I would be that cloud.

 

To love the Stranger, to love solitude—am I writing merely about privilege

about drifting from the center, drawn to edges,

a privilege we can’t afford in the world that is,

who are hated as being of our kind: faggot kicked into the icy river, woman dragged from her stalled car

into the mist-struck mountains, used and hacked to death

young scholar shot at the university gates on a summer evening walk, his prizes and studies nothing, nothing availing his Blackness

Jew deluded that she’s escaped the tribe, the laws of her exclusion, the men too holy to touch her hand;   Jew who has turned her back

on midrash and mitzvah (yet wears the chai on a thong between her breasts) hiking alone

found with a swastika carved in her back at the foot of the cliffs (did she die as queer or as Jew?)

 

Solitude, O taboo, endangered species

on the mist-struck spur of the mountain, I want a gun to defend you

In the desert, on the deserted street, I want what I can’t have:

your elder sister, Justice, her great peasant’s hand outspread

her eye, half-hooded, sharp and true

 

And I ask myself, have I thrown courage away?

have I traded off something I don’t name?

To what extreme will I go to meet the extremist?

What will I do to defend my want or anyone’s want to search for her spirit-vision

far from the protection of those she has called her own?

Will I find O solitude

your plumes, your breasts, your hair

against my face, as in childhood, your voice like the mockingbird’s

singing Yes, you are loved, why else this song?

in the old places, anywhere?

 

What is a Jew in solitude?

What is a woman in solitude, a queer woman or man?

When the winter flood-tides wrench the tower from the rock, crumble the prophet’s headland, and the farms slide into the sea

when leviathan is endangered and Jonah becomes revenger

when center and edges are crushed together, the extremities crushed together on which the world was founded

when our souls crash together, Arab and Jew, howling our loneliness within the tribes

when the refugee child and the exile’s child re-open the blasted and forbidden city

when we who refuse to be women and men as women and men are chartered, tell our stories of solitude spent in multitude

in that world as it may be, newborn and haunted, what will solitude mean?

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IT’S YOM KIPPUR, AND I’M NOT FASTING — George Franklin

The first thing I thought of this morning

Was coffee, café au lait in a

Blue ceramic bowl, a slice of toast

Still warm in my hand. I didn’t even

Remember today was Yom Kippur.

I say I’m not observant, which sounds

Like I have poor eyesight but really

Means that when God and I have a chat

All I hear is a dial tone at

The other end of the line. I’m tired

Of imagining what doesn’t have

An image. There’re no burning bushes

In my backyard, just history that

Can’t be changed, redeemed, or atoned for.

God, I have too many images

In my head today, videos of

Villages captured and recaptured,

Reporters asking, “Can you tell us

Where the bodies are buried?” Someone

Points to a field, fresh-turned dirt not far

From a road. Eighty-one years ago,

They were the bodies of Jews in a

Ravine in Kyiv, now Ukrainians.

When can we say atoning doesn’t

Work? The Earth is full of graves, mass and

Singular. Trees send out roots to thread

Ribcages that insects and worms have

Already hollowed. Each year, the ground

Sinks a little. In the history

Of the world, no one ever went broke

Selling shovels. God, there is something

Wrong with people, and thousands of years

Of fasting hasn’t fixed it. Neither

Has prayer or the sacrifice of

Unblemished cattle or first-born sons.

The sun will set soon, and the day will

Be over. I was taught the gates of

Heaven swing closed then: no more prayers.

The ones who haven’t repented yet

Aren’t going to. Another year’s passed.

Men put on their jackets and walk home.

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The LAYERS — Stanley Kunitz

I have walked through many lives,
some of them my own,
and I am not who I was,
though some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray.
When I look behind,
as I am compelled to look
before I can gather strength
to proceed on my journey,
I see the milestones dwindling
toward the horizon
and the slow fires trailing
from the abandoned campsites,
over which scavenger angels
wheel on heavy wings.

Oh, I have made myself a tribe
out of my true affections,
and my tribe is scattered!
How shall the heart be reconciled
to its feast of losses?
In a rising wind
the manic dust of my friends,
those who fell along the way,
bitterly stings my face.
Yet I turn, I turn,
exulting somewhat,
with my will intact to go
wherever I need to go,
and every stone on the road
precious to me.
In my darkest night,
when the moon was covered
and I roamed through wreckage,
a nimbus-clouded voice
directed me:
“Live in the layers,
not on the litter.”
Though I lack the art
to decipher it,
no doubt the next chapter
in my book of transformations
is already written.
I am not done with my changes.

August Rain, After Haying — Jane Kenyon

Through sere trees and beheaded
grasses the slow rain falls.
Hay fills the barn; only the rake
and one empty wagon are left
in the field. In the ditches
goldenrod bends to the ground.

Even at noon the house is dark.
In my room under the eaves
I hear the steady benevolence
of water washing dust
raised by the haying
from porch and car and garden
chair. We are shorn
and purified, as if tonsured.

The grass resolves to grow again,
receiving the rain to that end,
but my disordered soul thirsts
after something it cannot name.

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YOM KIPPUR: The Holiest Day of the Year in Jewish Religious Life

 

HISTORY of Yom Kippur — chabad.org (full article: https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/177886/jewish/What-Is-Yom-Kippur.htm#What)

Just months after the people of Israel left Egypt in the year 2448 from creation (1313 BCE), they sinned by worshipping a golden calf. Moses ascended Mount Sinai and prayed to G‑d to forgive them. After two 40-day stints on the mountain, full Divine favor was obtained. The day Moses came down the mountain (the 10th of Tishrei) was to be known forevermore as the Day of Atonement—Yom Kippur.

That year, the people built the Tabernacle, a portable home for G‑d. The Tabernacle was a center for prayers and sacrificial offerings. The service in the Tabernacle climaxed on Yom Kippur, when the High Priest would perform a specially prescribed service. Highlights of this service included offering incense in the Holy of Holies (where the ark was housed) and the lottery with two goats—one of which was brought as a sacrifice, the other being sent out to the wilderness (Azazel).

While the High Priest generally wore ornate golden clothing, on Yom Kippur, he would immerse in a mikvah and don plain white garments to perform this service.

This practice continued for hundreds of years, throughout the time of the first Temple in Jerusalem, which was built by Solomon, and the second Temple, which was built by Ezra. Jews from all over would gather in the Temple to experience the sacred sight of the High Priest performing his service, obtaining forgiveness for all of Israel.

When the second Temple was destroyed in the year 3830 from creation (70 CE), the Yom Kippur service continued. Instead of a High Priest bringing the sacrifices in Jerusalem, every single Jew performs the Yom Kippur service in the temple of his or her heart.

YOM KIPPUR— history.com (full article: https://www.history.com/topics/holidays/yom-kippur-history).

According to tradition, the first Yom Kippur took place after the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt and arrival at Mount Sinai, where God gave Moses the Ten Commandments. Descending from the mountain, Moses caught his people worshipping a golden calf and shattered the sacred tablets in anger. Because the Israelites atoned for their idolatry, God forgave their sins and offered Moses a second set of tablets…

… God judges all creatures during the 10 Days of Awe between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, deciding whether they will live or die in the coming year.Jewish law teaches that God inscribes the names of the righteous in the “book of life” and condemns the wicked to death on Rosh Hashanah; people who fall between the two categories have until Yom Kippur to perform “teshuvah,” or repentance. As a result, observant Jews consider Yom Kippur and the days leading up to it a time for prayer, good deeds, reflecting on past mistakes and making amends with others….

Yom Kippur is Judaism’s most sacred day of the year; it is sometimes referred to as the “Sabbath of Sabbaths.” For this reason, even Jews who do not observe other traditions refrain from work, which is forbidden during the holiday, and participate in religious services on Yom Kippur…

The Torah commands all Jewish adults (apart from the sick, the elderly and women who have just given birth) to abstain from eating and drinking between sundown on the evening before Yom Kippur and nightfall the next day. The fast is believed to cleanse the body and spirit, not to serve as a punishment….

Because the High Holy Day prayer services include special liturgical texts, songs and customs, rabbis and their congregations read from a special prayer book known as the machzor during both Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah. Five distinct prayer services take place on Yom Kippur, the first on the eve of the holiday and the last before sunset on the following day. One of the most important prayers specific to Yom Kippur describes the atonement ritual performed by high priests during ancient times. The blowing of the shofar—a trumpet made from a ram’s horn—is an essential and emblematic part of both High Holy Days. On Yom Kippur, a single long blast is sounded at the end of the final service to mark the conclusion of the fast…..

Pre-Yom Kippur feast: On the eve of Yom Kippur, families and friends gather for a bountiful feast that must be finished before sunset. The idea is to gather strength for 25 hours of fasting.

Breaking of the fast: After the final Yom Kippur service, many people return home for a festive meal. It traditionally consists of breakfast-like comfort foods such as blintzes, noodle pudding and baked goods.

Wearing white: It is customary for religious Jews to dress in white—a symbol of purity—on Yom Kippur. Some married men wear kittels, which are white burial shrouds, to signify repentance.

Charity: Some Jews make donations or volunteer their time in the days leading up to Yom Kippur….