Feb 16 Daily Devotional

• Scripture: Ephesians 4:15 – But speaking the truth in love, we must grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.
• Reflection: Honesty and transparency are characteristics of a loving relationship, with individuals and with communities. Such clarity creates trust, even if it also means grappling with difficult issues.
  We are invited, by this text, to reflect on the balance of grace and truth in our relationships. How might we be more direct and honest? When do we avoid difficult conversations? And as we attempt honesty, and truth, is our objective to grow in intimacy and trust?
  Of course, the honesty Jesus requests of us should arise  from a loving heart and a willingness to be open and vulnerable. Dr. Abby Medcalf notes, “Honesty is not brutal honesty. Being honest isn’t an excuse to criticize or berate … Brutal honesty is fear-based and is usually some form of lashing out. … Honesty isn’t just about saying everything you think and feel. The goal of honesty is to be closer to others, so you need to communicate in a way others can receive so you can build trust and intimacy.”
• Spiritual Practice Prompt: Have a conversation with someone you trust about how to communicate truth in love.

SONG

• Say by John Mayer: https://youtu.be/phaIklEphSM?si=X13ErolF-WgdqXXw

1. Competency – Competency in any relationship is huge. Does the other person do what they say they will successfully and efficiently? This is being competent. Do they follow through? Do they show up on time? Do you believe that they can do the things they promise or commit to? In other words, can they do the job of being your partner, friend, or coworker?
   We build the competency leg of the Trust Triad by taking things on and following through. We do it by not letting the little things slip through the cracks. We also build this by not saying yes to everything. When we say yes to everything, we can’t do it all. It’s important to commit to a smaller number of things and do them consistently well. This is when I talk about getting help as much as possible. When there’s too much on our plate, things slide, and we try to be everything to everyone, so competency fades.
2. Goodwill – The second factor, goodwill, is all about you believing that the other person has your best interest at heart and that they care about you as a person, not just the role you fulfill. We tend to build this side of the Trust Triad as we express compassion and empathy for other people’s feelings. It’s when we stop and give our full attention, listen well and ask specific questions. It’s when we approach things as a “we” problem, not a “you” problem.
3. Integrity – … this third component of trust – integrity – is all about honesty. Are they saying something so you won’t get upset? Are they trying to manipulate you to get their way or avoid a conflict? Are they saying they feel one way, but you think they really feel another? Are they telling you outright lies consistently? We build up this facet of the Trust Triad by speaking our true feelings – by being willing to have those harder conversations and not brushing everything under the rug. We do this by speaking as truthfully as possible, all the time – especially about the little things.