LOVE
Daily Devotional
Cultivate love each day this week.
December 27: Love and Forgiveness
- Scripture: Colossians 3:13 — Bear with one another and, if anyone has a complaint against another, forgive each other; just as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.
- Meditation: The processes of loving and forgiving are interconnected. You don’t have to like or befriend the person you are seeking to forgive. Notably, in some cases you might be working on forgiveness of existing personal relationships that could be restored to some level of connection. Such renewal of connection should occur only if that is safe for you to do, and include strong, clear boundaries.
The process of forgiveness includes recognition of the other’s humanity. Such acknowledgment is already an act of compassion that benefits both yourself and the other person.
Forgiveness also does not mean accepting, tolerating, or condoning experiences or actions that have caused harm. Forgiveness can occur while also seeking justice and accountability, when harm and wrong have occurred. Forgiveness, instead, is returning the pain and responsibility back to the one who caused it, regardless of whether that person is ever able to participate in the forgiveness process. This helps you stop doing all the hard work of carrying the burdens causes by the pain and trauma.
Self-forgiveness is also possible. Certainl the 12-Step Process includes both taking responsibility, making amends, and also having compassion for others and for ourselves.
Participating in the process of forgiveness allows us to liberate energy for life-giving emotions and psychological states. It fosters wellbeing and restores balance to our bodies, hearts and minds.
Yet forgiveness isn’t a sudden decision, it is indeed a step-by-step process … a journey which may need to be revisited more than once. - Spiritual Discipline: Identify someone you need to forgive. Write a letter or an entry in a journal, addressed to the one who caused harm or pain, stating what you want to say. Let your emotions and thoughts be expressed outside your own body. Set the writing aside for now. This is one small step to sharing your story and reclaiming your wellbeing.
SONGS:
- Baby Can I Hold You by Tracy Chapman: https://youtu.be/DqoLMGSBGYc?si=5hQ4nirja75HCOcf
Healing Through Forgiveness: Five Ways To Find Peace During the Grieving Process, full article: https://www.inspirahealthnetwork.org/news/healthy-living/healing-through-forgiveness-five-ways-find-peace-during-grieving-process
Here are five ways forgiveness can aid us in the grieving process when the person we mourn has also been a source of pain.
- Regaining emotional control
“Grief often comes with a myriad of emotions, like anger, confusion, sadness and even resentment. When the person we mourn has been a source of hurt, these feelings can become more tangled and complex,” said Brown-Weikel. However, choosing forgiveness does not erase the pain or condone the actions that led to it; rather, it allows us to release feelings of negativity that can hinder our healing. By forgiving, we reclaim control over our emotions, focusing on our own well-being rather than letting anger define us.
- Shifting our perspective
Forgiveness encourages us to see the departed individual in a new light—as a flawed human being, much like ourselves. This shift in perspective humanizes them, making it easier to let go of unrealistic expectations and the accompanying disappointment. By recognizing their imperfections, we pave the way for a more compassionate understanding of their actions and impact on our lives.
- Healing fractured relationships
Forgiveness has a unique power to mend relationships, even in the absence of the person. When we release resentment, we create space for inner reconciliation. This closure isn’t reliant on external factors; it’s a form of resolution that provides comfort and healing.
- Prioritizing self-care
Forgiveness is an act of self-care. It allows us to break free from the cycle of pain and bitterness that can trap us in grief. By forgiving, we honor our emotions without letting them dictate our healing journey. This process empowers us to prioritize our well-being and release the hold of negativity.
- Opening up to acceptance
Forgiveness opens doors to acceptance. “When we forgive, we acknowledge the past without letting it define us,” said Brown-Weikel. “This acknowledgment leads to a healthier form of acceptance, where we can remember the person and their actions without letting them continue to harm us emotionally.”
Ultimately, forgiveness is not about excusing hurtful actions; it’s about freeing ourselves from the burdens of resentment, allowing us to honor our pain while opening up space for healing and growth. By granting ourselves permission to forgive, we regain control over our emotional well-being, shift our perspective and hopefully find a form of closure that brings solace.